You can go anywhere you want if you look serious and carry a clipboard.
When the bosses talk about improving productivity, they are never talking about themselves.
If at first you don't succeed, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.
Everything can be filed under "miscellaneous."
If you are good, you will be assigned all the work. If you are really good, you will get out of it.
At work, the authority of a person is inversely proportional to the number of pens that person is carrying.
When you don't know what to do, walk fast and look worried.
Following the rules will not get the job done.
When confronted by a difficult problem, you can solve it more easily by reducing it to the question, "How would the Lone Ranger handle this?"
The last person that quit or was fired will be held responsible for everything that goes wrong.