How to Buy a Stereo
- Carefully calculate power requirements, based on room dimensions, etc.
Multiply by a factor of 100.
- The ideal system should have as many lights as possible, preferably
blinking and flashing in time with the music.
- The components should all have black metal finish, and generally look very
- The system should be broken up into as many components as possible. (e.g.
pre-amp, pre-pre-amp, pre-menstrual-amp, post-amp, post-menopause-amp, etc.)
- The most important part of a stereo system is the speakers, they should look
very cool. Size and number of sub-speakers and varieties of components
pointed at the listener is important. (e.g. tweeters, hooters, sub-woofers,
super-sub-woofers, seismic noise generators, etc.)
- The system should resemble the cockpit of an F16 or 757 aircraft; the more
knobs and dials you can turn, the better.
- The system should have full remote control capability, including over the
mobile auto cellular phone so that the stereo can be playing as you get
- Should have the capability of playing different music in every room of the
- Components should have a cool names; this means no department store brands.
- The complete set-up should put a major recording studio or large radio
station to shame. After all, you may be trying to duplicate the exciting
feeling of being at a heavy metal concert in a football stadium with 70,000
- Having state-of-the-art equipment is not enough. You should be a year or
two ahead of everyone else. Equipment over the warranty period is obsolete
and should be disposed of promptly.
- The most important factor...
Out of everyone you know who owns stereo equipment, yours should be better.