Irish Weather

Note: All temperatures are in degrees Fahrenheit.

The Temperature Conversion Guide

50 above = New Yorkers try to turn on the heat.
Irish plant gardens.

40 above = Californians shiver uncontrollably.
Irish sunbathe.

35 above = Italian cars won't start.
Irish drive with the windows down.

32 above = Distilled water freezes.
Irish water gets thicker.

20 above = Floridians wear coats, gloves & wool hats.
Irish throw on a t-shirt.

15 above = Californians begin to evacuate the state.
Irish go swimming.

Zero = New York landlords finally turn up the heat.
Irish have the last barbeque before it gets cold.

10 below = People in Miami cease to exist.
Irish lick flag poles.

20 below = Californians fly away to Mexico.
Irish throw on a light jacket.

40 below = Hollywood disintegrates.
Irish rent some videos.

60 below = Mt. St. Helens freezes.
Irish Girl Guides begin their Bob-a-job campaign.

80 below = Polar bears begin to evacuate Antarctica.
Irish Scouts postpone "Winter Survival" classes until it gets
cold enough.

100 below = Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Irish pull down their ear flaps.

173 below = Ethyl alcohol freezes.
Irish get frustrated when they can't thaw the keg.

297 below = Microbial life survives on dairy products.
Irish cows complain of farmers with cold hands.

460 below = ALL atomic motion stops.
Irish start saying "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

500 below = Hell freezes over.
Manchester Utd win the European Cup.

Humour Archive editor's note 1: We don't use Fahrenheit in Ireland.
Humour Archive editor's note 2: Manchester isn't in Ireland.

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