If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job, please see your Manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and your Manager shall be responsible for seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you can handle.
Employees who don't take their S.H.I.T will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T). Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously, will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING (E.A.T S.H.I.T). Since our Managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T anymore, and are all full of S.H.I.T already.
If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job, training others. We can add your name to our BASIC UNDER- STANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T). Those who are full of B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to DIRECTOR of INTENSITY PROGRAMMING, (D.I.P S.H.I.T).
If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T S.H.I.T).