Violent Deaths

Busy day at the Pearly Gates, St. Peter decides to prioritize, arranges people by how they died. Takes the sudden-violent deaths first.

First guy, whats your story?

Well I was convinced that my wife was having an affair. I snuck home in the middle of the day, ran up the 16 floors to our apartment so she wouldn't hear the elevator, burst in and almost caught her in the act. I was certain I would find the man...looked everywhere, finally I thought I saw someone hanging over the balcony. I went outside and sure enough there he was. Hanging over the edge. I kicked and punched at him but couldn't break his grip so I got a hammer. Finally I was able to break his hold and he fell; but, wouldn't you know it, a large tree broke his fall. I was incensed. I ran into the kitchen and actually picked up the refrigerator and threw it over the edge. The strain was too much and my heart gave out.

Wow! That's some story. OK go stand over there. Number two, you're up.

I live on the 18th floor of an apartment building and exercise every day on the balcony. For some reason I was dizzy, lost my balance and fell to what I thought would be certain death. Fortunately I was just able to reach the ledge below and saved myself. But almost immediately this madman comes rushing over and tries to finish the job. Somehow I held on though and he left, only to come back with this hammer and... well I fell. For some reason though, I fell into this large tree. I was beaten-up but alive. Just as I got my wits about me and started to climb comes this refrigerator & crushes me.

Another great story..OK, number three,

Well yer honor, it's like this. There I was, naked, hiding in this refrigerator when...

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