3 kinds of people: those who can count & those who can't.
Don't use a big word where a diminutive one will suffice.
Every morning is the dawn of a new error.
For people who like peace and quiet: a phoneless cord.
I can see clearly now, the brain is gone.
I used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead.
Mental Floss prevents Moral Decay.
Proof-read carefully to see if you any words out.
There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.
Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
A conclusion is simply the place where you got tired of thinking.
I don't have a solution, but I admire the problem.
Don't be so open-minded your brains fall out.
If at first you DO succeed, try not to look astonished|
Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie'... while you look for a rock.
Diplomacy - the art of letting someone have your way.
If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do the rest have to drown too?
If things get any worse, I'll have to ask you to stop helping me.
If I want your opinion, I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
Don't look back, they might be gaining on you.
Just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they aren't out to get you.
It's not hard to meet expenses, they're everywhere.
Help Wanted: Telepath. You know where to apply.
Budget: A method for going broke methodically.
Shin: A device for finding furniture in the dark.
Department of Redundancy Department
What has four legs and an arm? A happy pit bull.
The meetings will continue until we find out why no work is being done.
The beatings will continue until morale improves.
Flashlight: a storage case for dead batteries.
When all else fails, panic.